well, almost...........

so, i know i said goodnight, but i'm not quite ready to go to be yet.  so i'll just ramble here for a while.  it sux being in the medicare "donut hole" as it is affectionately referred to.  this year i am paying 78% of the cost out of my pocket.  and i take 10 or 11 meds, and 3 of them are antibiotics like rifampin, azithromycin and ethanbutol.  they aren't cheap, but they do seem to be doing some good.  will whatever it is that likes to live in my lungs ever go away?  seriously, i doubt it.  my guess is you can 'almost get rid of it, but not quite.'  and it may well return.  sounds just grand to me----not.  and then we have pulmonary rehab, which i have gone back to.  i'm on what they call the maintenance program, which means i pay $6 per time to exercise and then they don't pay much attention to me {but with all of my health issues i would rather exercise there at the hospital rather than at some fitness center 10 minutes away}  (the staff consists of nurses and physical therapists).....................until lately.  so when i'm there exercising, some days things get strange.  my O2 levels sort of go down, but other days they are fine.  makes no sense.  then my heart rate is inching up noticeably from last summer/fall when i was there previously.  and then last wednesday, after i had been mentioning chest pain, they decided to check my blood pressure after certain exercises.  my, my......not good  luckily i had an appointment with my cardiologist already scheduled, so when i was there thursday, we discussed all of this.  we upped one of my meds, and i go back in two weeks.  i can't recall the last time my cardiologist wanted me back in two weeks.  and when i go back, i get a nuclear stress test before i see him.  i knew this would likely come, but i'm still not happy.  i hate those things, but since i can't do a good treadmill test, i get that type where they inject the radioactive stuff into me to stress my heart.  and for me, they hurt.  not fun.  it makes me feel like my heart is going to explode.  oh, well----i've survived them before.  and i guess i will again.  that should be a fun day.  i'll tell you, whoever said the golden years were great forgot to mention that the gold they were talking about is actually fools gold.